11 Free Parenting Resources

I'm a huge fan of free resources, especially when those resources are geared towards parenting. I need all the help I can get. Below is a small list of free resources I've come across over the last year. Maybe one or two of them will prove helpful to you.

• Biblical Parenting Conference : An mp3 download (or listen online) featuring Tedd Tripp, author of the popular parenting book, Shepherding a Child's Heart.
  
  *A tip for listening to these: check out the date the individual audio file was posted and listen in date-order.
  
  
• Gospel Centered Parenting: This free mp3 download is from C.J. Mahaney, author, retired pastor, and leader of Sovereign Grace Ministries. All the mp3's on this site are free - and it's not just parenting resources, there's lots there.
  
  
• Parents, Teens, and Reasonable Expectations: This one is also from Sovereign Grace Ministries. No reason to wait til your kiddos are teens to listen in.
  
  
• Is Mandated Bible Reading Healthy for Kids?: Here's a blog post. Some food for thought...
  
  
• Free Museum Guide: For fun, a free museum guide for LA.
  
  
• My Job Chart:A free online chore chart. Especially cool if your kids are old enough to manage the chore chart themselves but it's not necessary.
  
  
• Kids Fasting Calendar: If your kiddos are Christians, you may want to help them learn some of the basics of fasting. This particular kids fasting calendar happens to be a part of a 21 day fast, but you don't have to abide by that timeline. It's merely some ideas for you... I haven't done anything like this with my kids thus far.
  
  
• Michael Hyatt's, Creating a Life Plan: For this post, parenting is one aspect of the plan. However, you could take the basic idea and adapt it to be focused only on parenting to help you begin with the end in mind.
  
  
• 4 Free Song Downloads from The Rizers: No better way to memorize scripture than through music and here are some free downloads from Noisetrade.
  
  
• Google Sky Map: This is an app for your (android) smart phone. My kids love this.
  

And this last one is not online but a free resource for local folks:

• Sandals Church: Starting Sunday June 19th, they'll be doing a six week series during the first service (8:15am) based on the book, Spiritual Parenting. Email summer@sandalschurch.com to register.
  

What free parenting resource goodness did I miss?

Leading Your Kids to Christ: A Potential Pitfall

I recently began reading the book Girl Talk by Carolyn Mahaney with my 10 year old daughter. We read a chapter a week, aloud to one another. The book is intended to facilitate conversations between a mom and daughter. I like little helps like this, because there is so much I don't think to talk about on my own.

There are great discussion questions, some of which give opportunities to confess and forgive one another for hurts and others lend themselves to talking about differences and similarities - which K always thinks is comical.

Tonight, for example, I learned that my daughter thinks I treat her like a baby. She's not a kid anymore you know.... cause... she's 10. Which is, in fact, two digits. And so we talked about what more responsibilities would look like, since more freedom is always accompanied with more responsibility. ;)

And then she had other great questions for me like, "Why did God send Jesus to come down as a man to die on the cross, why didn't He just make us perfect?"

Then, in Appendix C, there's this great little section titled, "How to Lead Your Daughter to Christ." I'm sure this section would work for sons as well, but that's not who the book is geared towards.

I thought this such great wisdom, and the pitfall mentioned so common, I'm sharing a snippet:

... Because a mother yearns for her daughter to know Christ, she may mistakenly pin her hopes on the slightest evidence of her daughter's salvation. She might choose to believe that her daughter's praying of the sinner's prayer as a young girl or her profession of faith today confirms that she is a Christian.

However, we must exercise discernment as mothers and avoid giving our daughters a premature assurance of their salvation. It is dangerous to assume that a confession or prayer alone is evidence of God's saving work. The Bible clearly states that we must repent and believe in order to be saved and that the fruit of a godly life will always accompany genuine faith.

Where authentic passion for God is displayed in a young girl's life, along with consistent growth in holiness, there is reason to be encouraged. But if your daughter does not exhibit hunger for God or hatred of sin, [Adding my own caveat here: this does not of course mean hating people who sin. That would actually be quite contrary to a hunger for God.] then you must share with her your concerns. Do not promote a false sense of security regarding the state of her soul, but instead be faithful to remind her of the good news of the gospel and urge her to repent and believe...

Now, if any of you have a tendency toward being extreme like I do, hopefully you didn't read into this you need to be looking for perfection, or near perfection, in your kids. Cause, while awesome, it won't happen this side of heaven, and will just end up stirring up some nasty anger in you. Which is also no good. But you probably know this.

Failure, Community, and Chipotle

This may have been the hardest year of my life. Even harder than the year my husband left, and I didn't think that could be topped.

I think it was harder, because this year, the failures (yes, that's plural) were solely my own.

2010. Welcome to the beginning of the end of myself.

And I've messed up before, don't get me wrong. 2010 was not the first time I've failed. Even when my husband left, almost 5 years ago now, I knew a piece of that failure was mine to own.

This year, well... this was a whole new thing...

Sometimes, when we fail, we can go apologize, we can do things to make it better. And then there are other times. Other times when repairing is beyond you. You can't go back in time and make things different, make better decisions. Many of us have been there. Many of us will be there very soon.

I was talking with a friend recently about failure, and in an effort to make the pain go away she told me I didn't really fail.

She was trying to be helpful. And she had good intentions.

But the fact is, she was wrong. Failure is real. It's as real as the bed I'm sitting on while typing. It's as real as the Chipotle I'm going to have for dinner... (I just made that decision, just right now.) ; )

And by ignoring it, by pretending it's not there, you miss the beauty that comes from failure. You miss the compassion and grace that grows out of it.

And you miss the beautiful redemption, where God draws you back to him, even when you don't have it in you to run to him. Where he reminds you that's why He sent His son to die on the cross. Because He knew. He knew all along. He knew your soul would be weary. He knew the strength of your heart would fail. He knew.

In the times I was most grieved. In the deepest pain that I managed to not anesthetize away, when I couldn't pick myself up and dust myself off. I am learning, in those moments... I can rejoice. And I do not mean be happy about what's going on. I do not mean, "think positive and it will all go away." The last thing I want to do is make a trite statement about pain. Just like failure, pain is real. And it's valid. What I mean is, out of the core of my being, I can stand on the assurance that Jesus isn't letting me go. That I Will. Not. be taken from his grasp. (John 10:28) That pain is just for a time. That the impurities that have risen to the surface, are revealed because I am loved so deeply and furiously by a God who is not content to let those impurities stay. That my faith, in His eyes, is more precious than gold. (1 Peter 1:7) And He takes that seriously.

And finally, out of godly sorrow that came with a vengeance this year, followed by repentance and confession to friends. I've watched: Transformation. Revelation. Joy. Deeper confidence. And a solid foundation that is less easily shaken.

And it's not over yet. Not even remotely.

For 2011, I want to be around men and women of prayer who have completely failed - and can admit it. No pretenses. Messy community that loves deeply without walls.

And then I want to provide a safe place to land for others, a safe place of growth for those who will fail in 2011.

Course, I'll fall short in this. However in God's grace, and in his gentle molding of my spirit, and out of a reverent fear that he has so graciously helped me begin to understand. I'll be closer to it than I was in 2010.

And that's a good feeling.

She Stood a Little Taller That Day

Freshmen year, high school history.

Two things I will never forget about this class. First, an embarrassing moment that involved the game of concentration and the word, Nicaragua.

Second, my teacher.

I don't recall much about any of the history I learned in this class. That's not to say, however, I didn't learn. I did. This teacher taught us to think. He often asked open questions that forced us to make educated guesses. He never allowed us to say, "I don't know." And one day, this teacher taught us a lesson I would never forget.

It was fifth period. He brought to class a flat, yet good sized, wooden board. Our teacher, always the unconventional, probed our faces through his round spectacles and asked for a volunteer. Someone who'd like to punch through the board.

Enter into the picture my friend Sarah, weighing in at all of 90 pounds-- as a heavy estimate-- she boldly raised her hand. We looked at the board, we looked at Sarah, and every kid in that classroom had the same look of shock and awe.

This could not actually happen. No. It just couldn't. No way.

While Sarah timidly stood next the teacher, he talked to the class about mindset. He talked about how powerful a thing the mind could be when trained to think beyond the problem at hand. He talked about success and how so often we allow obstacles to be the final say in our lives. Then he turned toward Sarah and began to coach her. He told her not to focus on the board but to focus beyond the board and then told her some practical things too like, how to make a proper fist.

She was nervous, which as a high school freshman meant she laughed a lot. But then, Sarah got serious. Sarah got focused and it was clear to all around her, she was gonna do this thing. She dialed in on her focus point which lay beyond the board, she pulled her fist back and...

Boom.

She punched right through that wooden board.

And we all jumped out of our seats, wild with screaming and applause. She did it. Sarah, timid Sarah, four foot nothin, not even a hundred pounds, did it. She did it!

And that day, we all wished we'd been the ones willing to take the risk...

Weeding

I like to sit on the large concrete step that creates my front porch. Beyond the porch is grass. And just off to the side, but within arms reach, is a patch of weeds.

It's on this step I sit in conversation with neighbors and while talking, find myself pulling weeds. They're so ugly up close.

When not being pulled out, I water and mow the weeds along with everything else. Walking past, you'd never even know they were there. They're green. They blend in.

I've never planted anything good to replace the weeds I remove. I just keep pulling them out.

It's frustrating though, they come back with greater intensity and tenacity. What once was a little patch is now getting ridiculous.

Each time more and more difficult to remove. Not to mention the energy it takes to keep them 'tempered'. And why is it weeds always grow quicker than the good stuff surrounding them?

Some life metaphors are almost too obvious to point out. That's how I feel about this one. Guess I needed a kindergarten style lesson...

Our 'IM' Convo's at Home

Pushing Boundaries

Much can happen to a girl in 8 months.

8 months. Last time I blogged. Is blogging like riding a bike where one can hop back on and it's as if you never left?

I perused some of my past blog posts and memories flooded back. I smiled as I looked back at the journey God brought me through in a small amount of time.

Just 8 months.

One of my last blog posts was about perseverance. Funny. That theme hasn't left. I suppose a lesson on perseverance cannot, by nature of it's name, end quickly.

In that post, I wrote out definitions of the word. I looked these references up again tonight and found something I had missed, dictionary.com's theological definition of perseverance:

Continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

As someone who finds the idea of grace near unbelievable, this statement is as refreshing as a down comforter on a chilly night. And I want to snuggle up in its truth.

I look back at periods in my life where I've thrived. Often times a mitigating factor to these periods was the knowledge I had the favor of a mentor, encouraging friend, or leader. (Understanding also, there is something to be said about being able to thrive without these human confidence boosters.) And I think, if my boundaries could be successfully pushed by an imperfect person's favor on me, then what if I really knew in my heart I am

already living
in a state of grace,
of unmerited favor,
that never ends,
(this is kinda a big deal),
from thee most amazing leader and creative,
who gave Himself to mankind,

how would I be different?

Photo by orphanjones

My Dear Printer

Anybody out there ever had a printer that didn't have problems?

I'm just wondering.

Cause I've lost hope. I figure this is my new normal. I don't think it matters how much money I spend on a printer. I. Will. Have. Problems. With. It.

We have phones that tell us where we are, manage our finances, and 100,000 other make-your-life-easier apps.

Yet, nary a dependable printer in sight.

Somebody. Tell me there's hope.

Hope for a project without delays. Without paper jams or nozzle head cleaning maintenance.

Cause even when the stars appear to align in my favor. I run out of ink... The paper is out.

My dear printer, your error message, it just may be my demise...

Hi, will you be my ministry?

Somebody excitedly called me a couple years ago (yeah, a couple years, it stuck with me) and said, "We'd like to make your family our ministry this Christmas season."

And you know what?
I felt pretty lame...
....and really, really small.

Know what else? The girls and I were tremendously blessed through this person. I'm not hating. I realized at the time I had to move my pride out of the way and let someone help. I am still grateful. They did for me what I was unable to do.

Nonetheless, as Christmas is approaching, and we head out to the homeless shelters, etc. (Better yet, go do something nice for someone in October, too.) Please don't make someone feel like they are your ministry. Meet needs? Yes. Shower them with love? Yes. Be a friend? Yes. Disciple them? Yes!

Words, tact, and body language matter. Seems to me there is an air of separation when someone dubs another their ministry or service project.

Here's an interesting perspective....



Photo by Ballistik

Perseverance

On the road of life, there are detours. Then there are more detours.

So why am I surprised I was handed more information yesterday that may make for, yet again, one more detour?

I'm afraid to even say what happened. I want to be sure this is the last of the sharp lefts or curvy rights, if only for a couple days.

And while I often deal well with change, the word that reverberated through my mind yesterday was perseverence. I ended up looking the word up in dictionary.com, then in my Zondervan's Compact Bible Dictionary.

Perseverance- Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, or a state, especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement.

Pair this with the Bible dictionary's:

Perseverance- (Sidenote. My bible dictionary is now missing. So I'm paraphrasing here.) When the word perseverance is used in the Bible it is used in connection with prayer.

Exactly what I needed to know yesterday. And today too, for that matter. More to come, as this has been quite the week...

Photo by xerezh